25 Things I've Learned In 25 Years
Hi my beautiful people!
This has been an interesting quarter of life. I am about to turn 25 years old and it makes me realize that I’m a quarter of a century already. I know many people have experienced this already but when it actually happens to you, it makes you reflect in life. I am actually quite fortunate that I’ve lived to reach twenty five years old. It is a blessing that I get to wake up every day and live this life, even if it comes with obstacles, pain and defeat, it is still a blessing to live life.
With that, I want to share with you 25 things I’ve learned now that I’m about to be 25 years old. This will range in life lessons, from heartbreak and loss, to self growth to even talking about career and love. I haven’t learned everything in life, but I definitely learned a lot throughout the years and I want to be able to share with you those lessons.
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Now do you want to know what I’ve learned in the past 25 years? Maybe and hopefully you can learn from my experience and also can relate from these life lessons.
Let me know in the comments what have you learned in your lifetime?
Let’s get started!
25 Things I’ve Learned in 25 Years.
If you have one person in your life that you can talk to, you are more blessed than you realized.
I am extremely lucky that I have two people in my life that I can turn to when I need to talk about anything that is happening in my life or vent to. We go through a lot in life and to be able to have someone to talk to is extremely important. Not many people have a person to go and talk to about things. I have realized that for so long I didn’t have a friend to go to if I needed something or to talk about things. I always had just my mom and there were stuff I couldn’t really talk to her about. Now I have one true best friend that I can go to, Erna Maria. I met her in California from Iceland who has joined my mom of being another person I can share my whole life and secrets to. I am forever grateful for both. If you have one person in your life, cherish them oh so much.
Heartbreak could happen before the first boy/girl you ever loved.
Now this one is more than just romance. Heartbreak could happen to you from a parent or family member in your life before reaching the romance stage. For many, it could be their dads/fathers like mine. This is something so rooted in me and I’ve learned to heal this wound. I’ve learned that the boys I fell in love with were not my first heartbreak. I realized I wasn’t taught to truly love myself from my own father. The people who are meant to protect and love you from people out in the real world could be the first to hurt you. So yes, I’ve had my heartbroken first before any boy broke my heart. And it has taught me that I’ve had to heal my first wound before I’ve continued the heartbreaking destructive and repetitive cycle.
Just because you lose someone doesn’t mean it was a lost.
There are many people you will come across in life. I’ve learned that these people are either here for a reason or for a season. It sounds like a cliche but it isn’t. There is truth in this. Many people come in our lives and each of them has something to teach us. You can date someone and think you’re going to spend the rest of your life with them only to see that they weren’t meant to be in your life. You think it was a lost. But it wasn’t. If your life is genuinely better since they’ve left, that was never a lost but a gain to your life. Some people are meant to pass by, teach us something and in reality, that is a gain for you. Don’t think it was a lost.
Forgiveness is a long, long, long and HARD process.
Forgiving people is something I had to learn to do over and over again. It truly isn’t as easy as it is, even though I faked it till I made it. There has been times where I would say, “I forgive you,” but I didn’t genuinely felt it. I wanted to say it to just say it and move on. But in reality, forgiveness isn’t about the other person. It truly is about you and how you can just let things go. Forgiveness is a process and it doesn’t happen overnight. I’ve had people do so much wrong towards me in life. I would cut them out and say I forgive you but still hold some negative resentment after they were gone from my life. For years. Years. Who holds onto things that long? I did, until I realized I shouldn’t hold such negative emotions close to my heart because it only hurts me in the end. It really does. If you are facing a situation or person that needs you to forgive, remember that there will be days where you just don’t know if you will ever forgive. But you will. It is a process and you’re going to take baby steps to eventually get there. You can completely fully forgive people and forgive yourself. But remember, forgiving someone is for you not for anyone else.
Each decision you make has already been planned for you.
You can say that this is something spiritual and it can be. I am a spiritual person but I truly believe that everything that has happened in our lives was already planned. The universe, spiritual guides, Gods, etc has already aligned these events in our lives and no matter the decision, the outcome was supposed to happen. Have faith that whichever decision you make, whatever you go with, it has already been waiting for you.
Love isn’t supposed to hurt or drain you.
After so much true love I’ve felt from friends and family, I’ve realized what is genuine love and fake love. Fake love is what hurts, and drains your energy. Love isn’t supposed to be so painful that you are physically getting hurt, or mentally and emotionally being abused. If you are being abused or in a toxic relationship, please get help. Educate yourselves on the signs and listen to yourself. You are not safe and you deserve so much more. Yes, I’ve survived a toxic, unhealthy and some physical abuse (still abusive) relationship and you can too. Read more on different types of abuse here.
Reach out to someone and get help through resources online like The National Domestic Hotline.
There is nothing worse than not risking it and eventually regretting it. Yes everything in our paths is there for a reason. But fear? That fear shouldn’t stop you from doing what you want to do. Jump from that cliff, love yourself even more even if it risks losing that person. Start your dream job or business. Don’t live your life thinking that you cannot do it. Get over your fear and take risks. What do you have to lose? And if you answer that, really look into those reasons and see if they are worth more than one reason you’ve been holding onto.
Travel as much as you can and travel alone.
Travel. Travel as much as you can and as long as you can. This is something that changed my whole life. When you travel to new places you are become a new person. You learn so much about yourself that you wouldn’t have known before you traveled. Especially traveling alone. Everyone should take one trip where they travel by themselves. Traveling to a new place is a blessing because the world is so much bigger than what you’re accustomed to. Places are meant to be explored. You will become more educated, aware, and adaptable to new places, people, situations and environments when you travel. Especially alone.
To grow from your comfort zone you have to do things you are most afraid of.
There are things in life that requires us to get over our fears. I’ve learned that you have to try to do what you are most scared of. This is where you grow and enjoy life. This is where you are exploring the most important and best things life has to offer. To grow from your comfort zone, try to do things that scare you. This is how you grow.
Don’t be afraid to fail.
Les Brown said it the best, “anything worth doing is worth doing badly.” This man is such a great motivational speaker. I listen to him every morning while getting ready. He has helped me understand in life that what you truly want comes with fear and a risk of failure. But it isn’t truly failure. We have this idea that we’re taught that we must be perfect in order to do things. However that is where we are afraid to try because we have the idea that we must be perfect to do things or we will fail. It should be the opposite. Try it and it’s worth doing it badly until we get it right, again a great quote from Les Brown. If we’re afraid to fail, we will never see what we could have done or been.
Loving yourself is a practice.
Truly loving yourself is not a one done thing. We will have the best days, months and years but that can go down hill in a blink of an eye if we aren’t practicing self care. It’s not an accomplishment. It is something that you truly need to do constantly. It’s is a responsibility we have and we owe it to ourselves. Continue to take care of yourself first and fully before you end up rock bottom forever.
Hang out with people who are not like you.
I was fortunate to meet people in different cultures and in different age groups. I was in college and had the opportunity to meet all kinds of people who were different from me. I was able to learn outside from my culture and from people who were older than me. This is how you will see the world. Go hang out with people who are in their 50’s, 60’s, 70’s or even 20 years older than you. Learn from them. They can have the best insight of life lessons and experiences you wouldn’t even have thought about.
If it won’t matter in 5 years, don’t waste another moment thinking or stressing about it.
In a year or five years, there are things that will not matter anymore. It is really comforting to know that many of our stresses or negative thoughts can be eliminated by realizing if it’s going to matter in a year or five years. Most of the things you’re stressing about won’t matter. Therefore, let it go and continue to live your life.
You are not obligated to help family or loved ones who are toxic.
Family and friends should be the first to love, support and help us. However, for some of us we have some family members who are toxic and unhealthy. Just because they are family, it does not mean that you are obligated to help them. It also doesn’t mean they are allowed to be in your life. I hate the saying, “family is blood and you should always forgive family,” even if they take advantaged of you. No this isn’t okay and I’ve learned to cut out toxic unhealthy family members who only cause harm and damage in my life. After doing that, my life has been drastically been happier, peaceful and more calm. There is a sense of relief and happiness I have never experienced. You are allowed to feel this way too. Cut out toxic and unhealthy family members who have not learned their lessons.
Being an empath and sensitive to energy is not a bad thing.
I’m a person who is very sensitive to energy and I can physically feel emotions and feelings of other people. I’ve learned to meditate and set boundaries so I do not feel overwhelmed of feeling other people’s emotions. People who criticize you will call you sensitive and you may believe it is a bad thing. First, get rid of these people who lack empathy and understanding. Second, no you are not “sensitive” and or “weak.” You are highly sensitive to people’s energy and you have to protect yourself from negative people or energy. I am an empath and it is a gift. I am able to heal myself and others in a way that many people cannot. I can connect easily and deep with people and that does come with pros and cons. However, it is a gift that I can help serve others.
Don’t buy stuff that you don’t need.
As a person who is constantly (kind of) packing her things and moving around a lot, I’ve learned to only carry things that mean very much to me. Things that are important. I’ve also learned that this society loves to consume everything. We consume nonstop clothes, entertainment, gossip, drama, technology, food and etc. I’ve learned that I have control of what I consume in every area of my life. I don’t buy things I don’t need anymore. If I want it, I do think for a while, even months and possibly years if I should even buy it. In the end, I’d rather spend money on travel and experiences than buy a bunch of stuff I will get rid of in a couple of months. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need. Go minimal. Go simple.
You are in charge of your happiness.
You really are. For the longest I depended on others to bring me happiness. How did that end up? Well I’ll tell ya-still alone, and constantly seeking validation. Other people and things will not make you happy. They should compliment your happiness. When you wake up in the morning you have the option to either be happy for the day or have a crappy day. You can choose how you will respond. I wake up literally with a smile on my face and pick up my journal while still in bed, and I write about what I’m grateful for. Being grateful about things will also help you realize that you are in charge of your happiness. You get to decide whether you want to be happy or be miserable.
Your job isn’t everything. Your family, loved ones, are everything.
I am a hard worker, and I tried to prove myself in the workplace. Until I realized, this is a rat race. If you spend your whole life sleeping and breathing your job, you are going to end up still miserable and sick. Your health is important, your family is important. Your loved ones are important. Your friends and your life is important. Yes, be great in your job, be the best version you can be but don’t make it YOUR life. Many older people who I’ve talked to said the same thing. In the end, you aren’t going to wish you spent more time in the office, you’re going to wish you spent more time with the people and things that mattered to you the most.
Be kind to yourself and to others.
If you have the opportunity to be kind to someone, do it. Even if you do not know them, be genuine and be kind. Help someone out because you never know how huge of an impact you can make in their life. Also be kind to yourself. We forget to take care of ourselves first. We are our biggest critics and don’t be so hard on yourself. Treat yourself as if you are treating your friend. If you’re treating them better than how you treat yourself, then you should really take a look at yourself and change that. Treat yourself how you would treat a friend.
Stop seeking validation from others and validate yourself.
This has been the year where I truly stopped giving a crap what others think of me. I’ve let things go and the ideas and expectations others had on me. I had the problem to always do and act in ways that served others in a way that I’ve neglected myself. It is so liberating to be who I am without validation from others. This is something that I’ve learned at this age and I’m glad that I did because I am so happy. I am free. I am me. So stop worrying what people think of you because in the end, they will still judge you. Do your thing and don’t regret it.
Don’t be afraid to love and love again.
As a person who has fallen in love and had my heart broken, it is easy to just close up and not be open to love again. But I’ve learned that I loved fully with my heart to those that did not deserve it. It wasn’t my fault. I’ve learned that I am capable of loving at that capacity. I don’t have to be afraid to love once more because I know someone out there is willing to meet me at the same level and reciprocate. Loving someone is a beautiful thing and I know there is someone out there for everyone. That person will meet you 110% and it will be a beautiful collision.
What others think about you is not of your business.
This has been something that I’ve learned throughout high school and I still keep reminding myself. This ties in with number 20, however it is slightly different. Throughout childhood and adulthood we come across people who will like you and won’t like you. Today with technology, we have so many platforms where people can say something negative about us and we can easily see it. I’m here to say that I’ve learned to build a distance from people who want to say something negative about me. I’ve learned that if you are able to stop listening to others of what they have to say about you, you will go through life a lot more at peace. If someone likes you, then they will like you. It’s doesn’t have anything to do with you. If someone doesn’t like you, then they don’t like you. It’s still doesn’t have anything to do with you.
Don’t take life too serious, there’s still a little child in there that is willing to come out.
Life is too short to not relive the moments and experiences that you had as a child. Remember running around and not caring? Remember staying up late to watch night shows and hang out with friends? Or sharing your toys with neighbors and friends? Remember riding your bike and making stupid jokes with people and just laughing and smiling the most at this age? I love acting like a free, spirited young child most of the time. I love to run around, joke and act like a little kid. I love that I can see the positive in situations and I can be around kids and tease adults. I love not caring when I’m in those situations. Life is too short to really take it serious. Let go and feed your little child in you. Don’t take life so serious.
Always thank the people who helped you get where you are.
I’ve learned to thank the people as early as I can remember that helped me get to where I am. We sometimes go through life not thinking about how we’ve come across amazing people that helped us shape who we are. These people can be from the neighbors, elementary school teachers, cousins, parents, grandmothers, principals, church, and etc. For me, I was fortunate to be able to run into my fourth grade teacher in high school and thank her for helping me sign up for my first library card. Why? Because that’s where I spent most of my time growing up, in the library, renting out books, reading and discovering my love for reading and writing. Now I am blogger, writing and expressing through this blog and in my journal. That was one person I thanked. I was able to thank my 11th grade teacher when I ran into her two years ago (and I still run into her to this day) and thank her for believing in me and encouraging me to take her class. She helped motivate me to see myself successful and I went off to college with a recommendation letter from her. Also I thank my mom not just on Mothers’s Day but as much as I can and tell her she’s the best mother on this earth. Always thank the people who helped you in your life, you never know when your time with them is gone forever.
Last but not least…
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
The truth of the matter is we always think someone has it better than us. With social media, we are always seeing someone’s highlights and never see their downfalls. We look into our own life and start criticizing it. We think that we’re supposed to have all these nice things but in reality, your life is exactly how it’s supposed to be. Don’t seek what other people have. Be grateful for your life and if you want your grass to be greener, then make it green.
There you have it. 25 things I’ve learned in 25 years. I am so grateful that there has been many lessons in life that I was able to learn. There are many other lessons but these are the ones that stuck out to me. From career, travel, heartbreak, loss and love, there are lessons in every area of life. Be open to receive and learn something from challenges, pain and failure. If you’ve mastered in strengthening that, then you are ahead of the game and your next chapter in life is going to come.
Let me know in the comments what have you learned in your lifetime?