Why The Most Relationship You'll Ever Have Is With Yourself
We all have relationships. We have relationships with our friends, family, parents, significant others and even with God (if you believe in one). Most of the time, we put in so much effort towards our friends, family, children and for our community. We care so much about making sure everyone is okay first before ourselves. I am guilty myself.
Life is a precious thing, and so is our friendships. Or significant partner. Our neighbor. Our children. We tend to make sure that the people we have our most important relationships are well off, sometimes to the extent of putting ourselves in the back burner. This is where I'm here to remind you, it shouldn't be that way.
Yes our significant partner is important. Yes, our children are dependent on us, and yes care for thy neighbor. What we usually do is make sure the other person's feeling is taken care of first which then we end up neglecting ourselves. We forget to acknowledge our own feelings. We forget to acknowledge our worth. We forget to nourish our body, our soul, mind and our health.
Yes we should take care of each other, but we should only do so if we are not neglecting our own. I'm not saying that we should never once in a while put someone first if it makes the other person happy. I'm talking about for those who have difficulty of setting boundaries, always taking care of someone else but themselves and who never speak up.
Putting yourself first is okay. Setting boundaries with people is okay. Saying no is okay. The relationship that we have with ourselves determine our relationship with others. If we're happy with ourself, that energy will spill over in other areas. If we're upset, we should be able to speak up and be heard without the fear of the consequences. If our bodies are deteriorating because of the lack of sleep, lack of exercise and nutrition, we should make that as a priority.
If our mental state is also in a very bad place, we should absolutely be making that as a priority. We should take care our mental state, whether seeing a doctor, going to therapy, doing yoga, journaling, or whatever other activities that soothes your brain, we should be able to say, "Hold on, I am in a bad state right now, I need to take care of myself first," and take steps to do it.
The relationship with ourself is the most important. It determines our relationship with others. I am here to say that I am constantly reminding myself to put myself first. To speak up. To value myself. I grew up always considering others feelings over mine. Keeping quiet. Letting people push my boundaries till I did not have any boundaries. This impacted many relationships with men, family members and in the work place. It is a constant battle to speak up for myself whether I feel uncomfortable, or I feel upset. I saw that other people were speaking for me and that is not okay. I continue to challenge myself but it's not going to happen overnight. The relationship I have with myself is always getting better, but it's never perfect. But at least I am learning the difference between making sure I am okay first before putting myself on the back burner for someone else.
So here I am, letting you know, you aren't alone.
Take care of yourself first, even it means putting someone else on hold.