The Truth and Reality About Having Bad Days and How To Bounce Back From Them
I thought about how to start this post without overthinking, but I overthink per usual like many of us. As this blog marks seven months (still new but wow it’s been a journey) I wanted to write about the truth that I hope it can help someone. Or maybe I’m writing this for me mostly. However if it helps you, I am grateful for that.
Before I get really deep and into it, I’d like to take the opportunity to thank you for reading this. This blog has continued to reach over 80 countries and grow in monthly viewers which mindblows me. As a person who loves learning about other places, countries and cultures, I always want to connect and make a bigger impact on this world. Knowing that there are people from all over the world coming to this blog, reading a blog post I created is really warming. As usual, I truly want to connect with so many people from different places and I hope one day to visit more countries and reach a larger audience who share the same values. Thank you for sending me messages and commenting.
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Less than a year ago as I was in a totally different mindset, I wasn’t happy healthy, mentally or emotionally. I was around an environment that wasn’t good for me and I tried extremely hard to look inwards and see what was wrong with me. For so long in my life I felt like I had to fight and defend myself in every area of my life. Trying to prove myself to everyone coming into my life.
I worked on myself and look really hard inside to see why wasn’t I happy? What were my thoughts? How do I talk to myself? I came to a realization that the way that I was programmed growing up developed me into thinking that I wasn’t enough or validated. This caused a constant toxic cycle of putting others first and constantly trying to make sure others were okay whether my feelings or emotions are put on the back burner. However, after surviving an abusive relationship and now in a safer (physically, emotionally and mentally) environment, there are still times where I still have those bad days.
There are triggers that cause me to really turn back to the person I am comfortable in being. Quiet. Timid. Shy. Putting others first. Seeking validation. As much as I get blessings with a career that gets me to travel and make a positive and meaningful impact with youth, and finally in a position that I can live without waking up to anxiety of feeling terror or anxious of someone coming home and causing a fight, there are days that I feel sometimes like I’m reliving those moments.
Sometimes I have to be the only one being my own cheerleader, even though I’m a cheerleader for a hundred and fifty other people. However, I manage to bounce back and get back to where I should be. I want to get into the truth and realities about having those bad days and how to bounce back from them.
As I sit here and write from a deep truthful perspective, here are some of the realities of returning to the darkness and how I try to bounce back from it.
You’ve been here before
There is this familiarity. The familiarity of feeling insecure, having to quiet your mind and the negativity that it tells you. It’s no secret that this was your space. You’ve been here before. I’ve been here before. You think no one understands but truthfully, people do. I understand. Let it out and tell someone. You are filled with so much more. You are worth every breath. How you feel is validated. You aren’t alone. Yes you’ve been here before but you will see the light again. Remember when you smiled? Laughed? Remember when you felt like you were on top of the world? You will be there again. Don’t let these bad days take over anymore. Take every step little by little.
2. Breathing is hard
There is something comforting knowing that every morning you are given another day to live. You are here for a purpose. This is the time to put your thoughts and energy that you have and pour it into your life purpose. Find what makes you happy. What is it that you want to do that if money wasn’t the issue? As people asked me that same question last summer, my response was travel. Travel around the world. Connect with others. Here I am blogging, connecting with people from Algeria, Colombia, Morocco, Mexico, Canada and so many other countries. Let me know here where you are from.
3. Being around others can be a constant reminder that you aren’t enough
Sometimes our self esteem isn’t where it should be when we are next to someone who seems successful and happy. Maybe we think that we shouldn’t really be there. Maybe we don’t fit in. Or maybe we have someone who is literally telling us directly that we aren’t good enough. The first thing you should do is realize that you are enough. You belong where you should belong. Near people who uplift you and treat you with respect and acknowledge that you are a human being. There will be times where you will feel the need to prove that you are enough, and those are the times where you should really recognize that those aren’t worth the times. People shouldn’t and don’t validate your worth. You are the CEO of your life and you should be making decisions of who is worth being in your life.
4. You feel alone
You feel alone and lonely. Maybe you don’t feel connected with others. This is the time to connect with others and feel like you have a support group. It’s easy to stay in bed and binge-watch a TV series within one sitting. We all know that isn’t healthy. Nowadays, there is so much we consume mindlessly and we have to be conscious more than ever to what we consume. We deserve to consuming positive and healthy content. With that said, recognize what you are consuming, not just food. What is your mind consuming and pouring into your subconscious? Are there people online that you just don’t feel good watching them? You can delete and block them. Replace that negative energy with something positive.
5. Your thoughts are consuming your whole being
You don’t even realize how detrimental your thoughts can be. When you aren’t consciously aware of your thoughts, they can hurt you more than help you. The mind is truly powerful. What you think you truly become and that is quoted from many memorable people and one of them is by Napoleon Hill. You can truly change the way you feel and behave by changing your thoughts which are up in that mind of yours. I know how hard it is to get out from your comfort zone and stick to the familiarity. The familiarity of darkness, negativity, loneliness, pain. That can be your familiarity but what can also become familiar once again is happiness. Happiness can be whatever you want it to be. Think about what you want happiness will look like for you. Change your thoughts and start changing your whole being.
6. You think it won’t be the same again
And it won’t be. It will be even better than before. Bad days can make one think that it was better before. It feels that way because you aren’t where you will be. These are the times where it is preparing you for even better times. There is something far more bigger and better coming than what you had wanted. Life has a funny way of bringing us what we need, not want. I have finally come to the realization that sometimes what we want is not what we need. We will never know until we start looking from within and start adapting these healthier skills and mindset.
In conclusion, we all have those bad days. We never have it perfect no matter how perfect our Instagram or Twitter and Facebook appear. We go through deaths, depression, anxiety, painful situations, loss of jobs and even failure. We don’t show that online. If we did, we’d supposedly look like we are attention seeking or shameful. This is how social media portrays us. I’m here to tell you, you’re not alone and truth is we all have bad days. But we will bounce back. Just take it little by little everyday and realize life was given to you and no one else. Take it and take advantaged of it.