How To Stop Living Up To Other People's Expectations & Live Your True Life
When I first started this blog, I was at a point in my life where I was tired of being tired. I was tired of trying to live at the expectations of others, tired of trying to hold onto a toxic relationship, to even tired of feeling stagnant. I knew there was more to life than what I was doing. Therefore, this is where SweetSimplyJenny was born.
Throughout our lives, we face many lessons. One lesson that I hope everyone gets to learn is how to stop living up to other people’s expectations and truthfully live your own life. I can finally say that although I go through transitions, I am learning more and more of how to just let go. Letting go of trying to please others, trying to seek validation from others, and even trying to live up to other people’s idea of me. I am Jenny; sweet, simple and me. I am filled with my own wants, needs, goals and expectations. As I reach 26 years old this year, I am learning more of how to just live my true life. I hope that I can help others in a similar way. Live your true life.
Before we get started, make sure you follow me on these social media platforms and feel free to reach out to me!
Have you signed up on the newsletter yet? It’s totally free and also you get freebies to your inbox.
Let’s get started on how to stop living up to other people’s expectations and live your true life!
The one you are meant to live.
Become tired of being tired
What I mean by this is, you have to get a reality check. There will be a point in your life where you just become tired of being tired. Tired of listening to others, tired of trying to make other people happy and tired of seeking validation. Once you get hit by the reality of being tired, that could be the spark that you needed. The one that finally gets you to want to just change. It got to the point for me that I just was tired. Tired of feeling the need to be something or someone that wasn’t by my standards. You need to just be fed up already.
2. Find your who
This isn’t about your why. If you think about it, your why is in the first tip. You want to change because you’re tired. This is more of who you want to be. It’s time to analyze and reflect. Who do you want to be? Not who does your parents want you to be or who does your significant other want you to be. This is who YOU want to become. For myself, I wanted to be living simple, kind, and making the world a better place no matter what it was that I’m doing. Even if you don’t have a clear picture of who you want to be in the future, think about who you want to be RIGHT now. Happy? Free? Spiritually growing? Kind? Whoever you want to be, write that down.
3. Create and stick to your boundaries
This is so important. After you find your why, start creating your boundaries. Whether it’s creating a boundary for your parents, bosses, friends or strangers, have boundaries that you will stand by to keep your peace of mind. At first creating a boundary like “if I don’t feel safe with someone I’m leaving” is a clear boundary. For me, I started saying no to things I don’t feel comfortable doing or being in. Having boundaries are important but so is sticking to them. You cannot have a boundary that applies to one person and not to everyone. Whether it’s having the boundary that others talk to you respectfully, feeling safe near others, it should be a requirement on the same spectrum for people in your life.
4. Stop seeking validation
Find your internal validation. Validate yourself. There is no point in seeking validation from others in this life. No matter if it’s your parents or your boss, friends or companion, stop seeking for approval from them. One way to stop seeking approval is to find your why in life. Why do you want to do what you want to do in this life? What is the point in having approval from others? Build your confidence and self esteem. Build a healthy I really don’t care attitude. Mean it. Stop giving a shit! It will truly set you free in this world. You will have this freedom and respect for yourself when you do. I promise. Stop seeking approval from others even the important people in your life. People who truly love you will come around.
5. Create your own expectations
Lastly, what is it that you want to do? What are your expectations in your life? This is the time to ignore other peoples’s idea of you and start creating your own. Write down what you want to see from yourself in a year, five and ten years from now. It’s important to figure out your guideline in life. What are your expectations for others to treat you? What are your expectations of confidence? What are your expectations to yourself in your career and academics? What do you want to do? After answering those questions, practice meeting them. Replace doing what you expect rather than from others.
Well there you have it, those are five ways on how to stop living up to other people’s expectations and live your true life. I know how hard it is to finally look inward and release the beliefs others have. It won’t be easy. However, it is worth it. Whether you don’t want to follow a career path that your parents hold over you, or you studying something you don’t want to, this is your time to do what you want. Live your true life. There is this freedom that comes when you let go. There are phases where I continue to let go and feel a sense of relief of not giving a crap. Let me tell you, it truly is worth living your genuine self.